The Tragedy of Romeo the Hanyou
by Katz3
Summary: You've all read the classic Shakespeare tale, now add an Angsty YouKai, a Stubbon hanyou, A Lovley Miko, a Lecherous Monk, and a Crazed Director. Now you have a Love Story with a humerous Twist! Rated for love scenes, violence, InuYasha, Miroku, and a cra


The Tragedy of Romeo And Juliet: InuYasha's Love  
Original Play by William Shakespeare  
Fan Fiction by Katz-Sama  
  
Disclaimer: C'mon kids, lets say it together.-in a whining chant- I don't own InuYasha, I don't own Shakespeare, how we all wish you could you poor  
sap of a girl. Blah, Blah, Blah. We shall sing this song about how  
unfortunate you are.  
  
Cast  
  
Romeo Montague: InuYasha  
  
Juliet Capulet: Kagome  
  
Tybalt Capulet: Sesshoumaru  
Mercutio Montague: Miroku  
Benvolio Montague: Shippou  
Paris: Naraku o_o -shudders-  
Lord Capulet: Kouga  
Lady Capulet: Kikyo  
Nurse: Sango  
Apothecary: Jaken  
Princess: Rin  
Friar: Kaede  
  
Scene 1 Sesshoumaru, Miroku, and Shippou are on center stage fighting, Shippou backs out and says his lines.  
  
Benvolio: PART FOOLS! Put up your swords! You know NOT what you do!  
  
Tybalt: Turn thee Benvolio, and look apoun they DEATH!  
  
Benvolio: I only try to stop these men from fighting! Help me Tybalt! Help me keep the peace!  
  
Everyone on stage begins laughing with the exception of Shippou  
  
Tybalt: -While laughing- What?! Drawn sword and talk of peace? -continues to laugh- I hate that word. I hate is as I hate all Montague's and thee!  
  
Rin runs in angry  
  
Princess: ENEMIES OF PEACE! THROW YOUR MISTEMPERED WEAPONS TO THE GROUND!  
  
They all drop their swords, and Miroku sneaks away.  
  
Kouga and Kikyo walk out with an angry look.  
  
Lord Capulet: -growling- Who set this ancient quarrel in motion AGAIN?  
  
Benvolio: -grumbling- I only set to keep the peace.  
  
Princess: Enough. You, Capulet, come with me, and Montague, come this afternoon to learn more of my displeasure.  
  
Everyone walks offstage with the exception of Shippou who sits grumbling. InuYasha walks on stage sulking and whining. Shippou decides to try to cheer him up after the slump of being dismissed by Rosalyn.  
  
Benvolio: -hops toward Romeo smiling- Good Morrow Cousin!  
  
Romeo: -glances at Benvolio and sighs- Is the day so young?  
  
Benvolio: The hour of nine, my friend.  
  
Romeo: -sighs- Feh.-someone whispers to InuYasha that wasn't his line- Shut up. Wench. -Sighs again-  
  
Benvolio: What sadness lengthens Romeo's sadness? In Love?  
  
Romeo: Out.  
  
Benvolio: Out of love? The love of fair Rosalyn?  
  
Romeo: I feel as if I am locked in a prison without food.  
  
Benvolio: -Is upset- Tut man! -Pats him on the back- Take to new affection for thine eye!  
  
Kiara: -Hops out holding a letter in bold print reading- GOOD MORROW FRIENDS! THERE IS A MASQUE TONIGHT!  
  
Romeo: -looks up- A Masque? Tonight? Where?  
  
Kiara: -holds up the letter reading- My Master's Home, The Great Rich Lord Capulet, if you are not of the house of Montague, which you aren't, come dine and dance in merriment!  
  
Kiara hops away to another group of people holding the letter. Shippou hops up smiling to InuYasha telling him to go to the party to have fun and look into meeting other people. InuYasha smiles and nods agreeing to meet him and Mercutio at the party. Even though they were Montagues, they would be disguised and could get in.  
  
Behind the stage  
  
InuYasha: -sits grumbling reading the script- Feh, Kagome had to be Juliet.  
  
Kagome: -gives InuYasha a look- Sit Boy!  
  
Sesshoumaru: What are you whining about Dog-boy? I die in the third act!  
  
Miroku: -starts laughing-  
  
Sesshoumaru: After I kill the heehee Monk-boy.  
  
Miroku: -is Silent-  
  
Naraku: At least your name isn't a French city.  
  
Director: -Motions for Naraku and Kouga to take their places on stage-  
  
Scene 2 Kouga and Naraku sit talking  
  
Paris: So what do you say to my proposal?  
  
Lord Capulet: My daughter is too young, only seen the change of.-thinks and counts on his fingers and toes- yes, fourteen years. Give her two summers.  
  
Paris: Younger than she are happy mothers.  
  
Lord Capulet: -puts a hand behind his head thinking- Until I say yes you may woo her as you wish and get her to like you.Now I must go. Tonight is the masque.  
  
Kouga and Naraku shake hands and leave. On the other side of the room sits Kikyo, Kagome, and Sango.  
  
Lady Capulet: Nurse, my daughter is of pretty age is she not?  
  
Nurse: The prettiest Baby I ever cared for, and seeing her married would grant my wish. -Brushes Kagome's hair-  
  
Juliet: -smiles-  
  
Lady Capulet: Marriage is the very subject I came to speak of, young Juliet, what are your thoughts on marriage?  
  
Juliet: -blushes- It is an honor I dream not of.  
  
Nurse: think of Marriage now, younger than ye are women of self esteem and happy mothers.  
  
Lady Capulet: Young Juliet, can you look to like Count Paris?  
  
Juliet: I will look to like, if looking liking moves.  
  
Kiara runs in mewing and runs out again, Kouga motions for everyone to follow  
  
Lady Capulet: Count Paris awaits!  
  
Nurse: Go Girl. Seek Happy Nights to happy Days  
  
Kagome and Sango hug and walk downstairs  
  
Behind the scenes InuYasha: Wait a second.I actually have to KISS Kagome?  
  
Kagome: -secretly blushes-  
  
Kikyo: -Snarls in anger- You will not.  
  
Miroku: I envy you InuYasha.  
  
Kagome: -turns red and thwacks Miroku upside the head- BEHAPPYWITHYOUROWNPART!  
  
Miroku: -Is dazed- Mommy, I wanted to see the giraffes.  
  
Sango: -stares at Miroku and tries to help him stand up-  
  
Miroku: -takes opportunity to 'accidentally' touch Sango and is thwacked upside the head-  
  
Sango: -Mumbles- Stupid lecher.  
  
Director: -calls everyone on stage for the Masque Ball scene-  
  
Scene 3 In the Capulet home, everyone is having a fun time, and at the door are InuYasha, Miroku, and Shippou.  
  
Mercutio: Good Romeo, you must dance!  
  
Romeo: I cannot. You have dancing shoes with nimble soles. I only have a soul of lead weighing me down.  
  
Miroku and Shippou stare and blink a minute then shrug and enter. InuYasha follows and is stopped by Kouga and Kikyo  
  
Lord Capulet: Welcome masqued lads! Come and drink in merriment!  
  
InuYasha nods and looks to the other side of the room seeing Kagome reluctantly dancing with Naraku and stops Kiara.  
  
Romeo: Who is that angel that doth teach candles to light?  
  
Kiara: -shrugs and hops off-  
  
When Naraku finally stops dancing with Kagome, InuYasha runs up and grabs her pulling her to another room.  
  
Romeo: My lips, two blushing pilgrims, ready to smooth this rough touch with a kiss.  
  
InuYasha tries to kiss Kagome but she pushes away  
  
Juliet: Good Pilgrim! You do wrong with your hands. Pilgrims use their hands in prayer, and palm to palm, in the Holy Palmer's kiss  
  
Romeo: Have saints not holy palmers too?  
  
Juliet: Ay Pilgrim, lips to be used in prayer. -Giggles-  
  
InuYasha and Kagome kiss and Kagome giggles blushing  
  
Juliet: You kiss by the book.  
  
Sango runs out angry and pushes Kagome away  
  
Nurse: Your mother wishes to speak with you.  
  
Romeo: Who is her mother?  
  
Nurse: Her mother is the lady of the house of CAPULET.  
  
Romeo: Is she a Capulet.my life is my foe's debt.  
  
On the other side of the room Sesshoumaru sees InuYasha and narrows his eyes running to Kouga  
  
Tybalt: UNCLE! There be a dog of the house of Montague!  
  
Sesshoumaru points to a sad InuYasha and growls  
  
Tybalt: Fetch me my sword so I may slay him and I hold it NOT a sin!  
  
Kagome: That lad there? Young Romeo? I would not for this whole kingdom let you kill him here!  
  
Sesshoumaru and Kouga glare angry at each other and bare fangs  
  
Tybalt: I SHALL NOT ENDURE HIM!  
  
Kouga: HE SHALL BE ENDURED! DO AS I WILL!  
  
Sesshoumaru grunts and reluctantly walks away and Kouga the same. Shippou comes up behind InuYasha yawning.  
  
Benvolio: Come man, the fun has ended.  
  
Outside later Kagome sits on the balcony sighing. Under the balcony stands InuYasha. He decides to climb up the sides and makes it half way up before falling off the vines  
  
Romeo: AUGH! I THOUGHT YOU FIXED THIS!  
  
The directors help him up again and InuYasha begins his lines  
  
Romeo: What soft, light through wonder window breaks. It is the east, and Juliet, the sun. See how she places her hand on her cheek, if I could be a glove that may rest on that cheek.  
  
Juliet: Ay, me.  
  
Romeo: She speaks. Speak again bright angel!  
  
Juliet: Romeo, Romeo, wherefore art thou Romeo? Deny thy father. Refuse thy name, and if you wilt not, be sworn my love, and I will no longer be a Capulet.  
  
Romeo: Shall I hear more, or shall I speak at this? -Almost falls off the balcony again-  
  
Juliet: It is only thy name that is my enemy. What is in a name? By that which we call a rose would smell as sweet.  
  
Romeo: -screams- MY NAME IS HATEFUL TO MYSELF AS IT IS AN ENEMY TO THEE!  
  
Juliet: Who speaks, art thou not Romeo, and a Montague?  
  
Romeo: Neither, maiden, if either you dislike.  
  
Juliet: You'll be killed if they find you!  
  
Romeo: I'd rather be killed by their hate then live without thine love.  
  
Juliet: Love me? If you love, pronounce it faithfully to me.  
  
Romeo: LADY! BY THE YONER BLESSED MOON I SWEAR!  
  
Juliet: DON'T SWEAR BY THE MOON! Ever changing in her circled orb!  
  
Romeo: What shall I swear by?  
  
Juliet: Don't swear at all. If thy love, marriage is the answer.  
  
Nurse: JULIET!?  
  
Juliet: By and by I come. ANON GOOD NURSE! What hour shall I send to thee.  
  
Romeo: The hour of nine, my love.  
  
Juliet: Good night good night, parting is such sweet sorrow. I shall say good night until it be morrow.  
  
InuYasha and Kagome hug and Kagome rushes to an angry Sango. InuYasha again falls off the side of the balcony.  
  
Romeo: AUGH! -Falls and smacks into the ground- Mommy, I want a band-aid and an ice cream.  
  
Director: Ugh.take five everyone.Kaede, you're late, take your place.  
  
Behind the scenes InuYasha: -rubs his head- Damn balcony scene.  
  
Kagome: Aww, poor InuYasha. -snug-  
  
InuYasha: Get away from me, we're only acting.  
  
Kagome: -sighs and walks away-  
  
Sesshoumaru: I PROTEST! I wanted to kill InuYasha, not the other way around!  
  
InuYasha: -snickers evilly-  
  
Kagome: Its only acting.  
  
InuYasha: Damn.  
  
Scene four Kaede sits in her hut awaiting InuYasha  
  
Romeo: Good Morrow Friar!  
  
Friar: You haven't gotten sleep, Romeo, was thou with Rosalyn?  
  
Romeo: Rosalyn? No! Tis true the greater rest was mine. I have feasted with my enemy, Capulet.  
  
Friar: Confess to me.  
  
Romeo: I met Juliet of Capulet, we met, wooed, and made exchange of vows  
  
Kaede looks surprised to InuYasha and shakes her head  
  
Friar: Rosalyn you loved so dear, forsaken to soon? -Thinks of peace the marriage can do for the families-  
  
Romeo: Please pray consent to wed us today.  
  
Kaede agrees to wed them that day at 9:00 InuYasha happily looks to find Miroku and Shippou. In the market place he tells his tale and Sango runs up to carry a message. Miroku torments Sango a while with comments and gestures and songs until she storms away with InuYasha to the church.  
  
Kaede performs the ceremony for the new couple and both happily exit. Meanwhile, in the market place.  
  
Benvolio: I pray good Mercutio, lets us leave, the day is hot, Capulets abroad, if we meet, we shall not escape a brawl.  
  
Mercutio: Feh. They head is as full of quarrels as an egg is full of meat. -Bonks Shippou on the head laughing-  
  
Sesshoumaru storms through, angry with them all coming to the party he steps up to Miroku.  
  
Tybalt: MERCUTIO! THOU CONSORT WITH ROMEO!  
  
Mercutio: Consort? Thou make minstrels of us! -glances at street performers and others in the area-  
  
Benvolio: -worried- we talk here in a public place! Let us withdraw to a more private place to talk this out, there are watching eyes!  
  
Mercutio: Let them gaze. I will not move.  
  
Sesshoumaru looks to InuYasha nearing happily.skipping?  
  
Tybalt: Peace be with you, here comes my man now. ROMEO THOU ART A VILLAN!  
  
Romeo: Villain am I none! I protest I never injured thee. So Capulet, a name I love like my own, -Places a hand on his shoulder- be satisfied.  
  
Mercutio: -gawks- OH VILE SUBMISSION! -Grabs sword- Tybalt, you rat- catcher, turn and draw!  
  
Tybalt: What does thou want with me?  
  
Mercutio: Prince of cats. Nothing but none of your nine lives!  
  
Tybalt: -smirks- I am for you.  
  
Miroku draws his staff, and Sesshoumaru his sword, both rage in battle until InuYasha jumps between them to save them. Sesshoumaru took this chance to stab Miroku and ran off.  
  
Mercutio: AGH! I AM HURT! FIND ME TOMMOROW AND I WILL BE A GRAVE MAN! A PLAGUE ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES! YOU MADE WORM'S MEAT OF ME! A PLAGUE ON BOTH YOUR HOUSES!  
  
Miroku then dies in InuYasha's arms, InuYasha, now enraged, draws Tessaiga and runs behind Sesshoumaru killing him. He stands angrily staring at the two bodies, then concerned, then scared. He screamed and ran off  
  
Romeo: I AM FORTUNE'S FOOL!  
  
Rin, Kouga, Kikyo, and Kiara ran down the streets to see Shippou and the two bodies. Kikyo bends down crying by Sesshoumaru's body  
  
Kikyo: TYBALT! My cousin!  
  
Princess: Benvolio! Who began this bloody fray?!  
  
Benvolio: Romeo slew Tybalt, and Tybalt, death to peace, slew Mercutio.  
  
Lady Capulet: ROMEO! He slew Tybalt! He must not live!  
  
Princess: Romeo slew Tybalt, and he Mercutio, who now should pay the price? For this offence, Romeo shall be banished, and if he is seen again, that hour will be his last.  
  
Everyone walks away dragging bodies to their homes. Romeo runs and hides in Kaede's hut sobbing that he won't see Kagome again. At the Capulet mansion, Kagome is sobbing for the loss of her two loved ones. Sesshoumaru, dead, and InuYasha, banished. Meanwhile, Kikyo, and Kouga, wanting to make things right, set up a wedding date between Kagome and Naraku.-shudders-  
  
Lady Capulet: How now Juliet?  
  
Juliet: Madam. I am not well.  
  
Lady Capulet: Grieving the loss of Tybalt?  
  
Juliet: Let me grieve for such a loss.  
  
Lady Capulet: I bring thee good tidings, of a day you didn't expect!  
  
Juliet: What day?  
  
Lady Capulet: You shall be wed to the Count Paris!  
  
Kagome angrily stands up screaming in Kikyo's face like when she gets mad at InuYasha  
  
Juliet: TELL MY FATHER I WILL NOT MARRY AND WHEN I DO IT WILL BE TO ROMEO!  
  
Lady Capulet: -blinks and stares- Romeo?  
  
Juliet: Whom you know I hate.  
  
Lady Capulet: Here's your father. Tell him yourself.  
  
Lord Capulet: Have you delivered our decree?  
  
Lady Capulet: Aye, but she will have none of it.  
  
Kouga angrily gets in Kagome's face and starts screaming  
  
Lord Capulet: WHAT?! COUNT YOURSELF PROUD GIRL! DISOBEDIENT WENCH! IF YOU DON'T MARRY PARIS, I'LL MAKE SURE NOT TO COUNT YOU AS A CAPULET OR MY DAUGHTER!  
  
Juliet: Father! I beg on my knees! Mother!  
  
Kouga and Kikyo walk away grumbling and muttering. Kagome runs to Kaede sobbing. Just hours before, InuYasha left for Mantua, the nearest city.  
  
Juliet: I am beyond hope, cure, and help.  
  
Friar: Take this vial, you will be under a deep sleep, your Romeo will come for you.  
  
Kaede explains the vial will make her appear to be dead and when she is in the tomb, InuYasha will come for her. Juliet takes the vial and runs home.  
  
Juliet: Love. Give me strength. -Sits on her bed and drinks the vial falling adrift in slumber-  
  
Sango runs in the next morning with Kouga and Kikyo following  
  
Nurse: Juliet. Wake up. Juliet? Wake up Juliet! JULIET!  
  
Lady Capulet: Oh my! My daughter, my life is dead!  
  
Kouga takes her to the Capulet tomb to be laid to rest. The wedding is canceled, but plans have only begun.  
  
Behind the scenes  
  
Sesshoumaru: -lays sulking with a shroud over him dead on a platform to be carried to the tomb- Shakespeare should've made Tybalt kill Romeo.  
  
InuYasha: It doesn't matter. I die in the next scene anyway, no thanks to that little frog demon.  
  
Jaken: -reads script- I sell you the poison that made you die? Wow.  
  
Kagome: -sighs- Cant you focus on the play? Kikyo: -complains Kouga isn't dramatic enough-  
  
Miroku: Umm.Hellooooo? I'm dead too. No mourning for me?  
  
Sesshoumaru: No one cares about the lecher. Boo-hoo. Wah. -Snorts - Let us mourn. While we all just sit here and rot like pathetic corpses.  
  
Kikyo: Ahem?  
  
Sesshoumaru: -glares- Especially you.  
  
Kikyo: Fine then Captain Ahab. As if you're perfect.  
  
Sesshoumaru: At least I'm not made of play-dough.  
  
Kikyo: Shut up. Just, shut up.  
  
Sesshoumaru: I'm dead, I'm not even supposed to talk!  
  
Director: -calls for everyone to take places for the Mantua scene.-  
  
InuYasha: -walks out kicking Jaken randomly-  
  
Scene five InuYasha sits boredly sighing after loosing another love. Shippou runs in scared.  
  
Romeo: Benvolio! What news of my Juliet?  
  
Benvolio: My cousin, I fear the news I share. I have seen Juliet laid to rest in the Capulet tomb!  
  
InuYasha stands speechless and kicks Shippou away  
  
Romeo: Get thee gone! You are deceived! -Looks around- I shall rest with thee tonight Juliet. First, to find the Apothecary.  
  
Jaken walks by holding a bottle in hand  
  
Romeo: Have ye a dram of poison?  
  
Apothecary: Sure. Five bucks -Is kicked following by "That's not your line!"- Such mortal drugs I have, but I cannot sell them under Mantua Law.  
  
Romeo: I shall give you 40 ducats, your poverty leaves you no choice.  
  
Apothecary: -fears being kicked and snatches the money handing him the bottle- my poverty, but not my will, consents.  
  
InuYasha runs off to the Capulet tomb to find Kagome. There he sees Naraku grieving the loss of his future wife. An angry InuYasha stabs killing him and kneels by Kagome. He looks up to see Sesshoumaru was also laid to rest and begins to sob. He then drinks the vial.  
  
Romeo: Apothecary, the poisons are quick. One kiss and I will die. -kisses Kagome and falls over shaking and choking dead-  
  
Kaede runs in hearing word that InuYasha didn't know of this plot and gasps seeing she is too late.  
  
Friar: What unkind hour. Romeo slain, and Paris too? The lady stirs.  
  
Kagome wakes up seeing Kaede  
  
Juliet: Oh comfortable friar, I remember well where I should be and there I am. Where is my Romeo?  
  
Friar: Thy husband lies dead, and Paris too. Come good Juliet. I dare no longer stay.  
  
Juliet: Go, get thee hence! For I will not away!  
  
Kaede leaves and Kagome notices that InuYasha drank poison to kill himself and die at her side.  
  
Juliet: A cup clasped in my love's hand? Poison, his timeless end. -Drinks out of the cup- drank all and left me no friendly drop. I shall kiss thy lips, so that there may be poison that lingers. -kisses his lips- Thy lips are warm! What? Noise? Then I shall be brief! -Grabs the dagger- Oh Happy Dagger! This is thy sheath! There ye rust and let me die! -stabs self and dies atop her love-  
  
Kaede, Kikyo, Rin, and Kouga rush in seeing they are too late. Kaede tells the story and Rin looks to Kouga blaming him for this catastrophe. All leave except for Rin who stands alone among the dead.  
  
Princess: A glooming peace this morning with it brings; The sun, for sorrow, will not show his head: Go hence, to have more talk of these sad things; Some shall be pardon'd, and some punished: For never was a story of more woe Than this of Juliet and her Romeo.  
  
Backstage and in Audience  
  
Audience: -Cheers as everyone bows and goes backstage again-  
  
Sesshoumaru: -yawns a bit and dusts self off- Shakespeare was quite a playwright, but not worthy of making the role of Tybalt greater.  
  
InuYasha: Quit whining, I died too.  
  
Miroku: WHY DOESN'T ANYONE REMEMBER I'M HERE TOO!  
  
Everyone: SHUT UP!  
  
Miroku: o_o; -sits down in a corner of the stage singing the Family Guy Theme-  
  
Director: That was BEAUTIFUL! -squeals- now for our next play.  
  
Miroku: Chicago?  
  
Everyone: SHUT UP!  
  
Sesshoumaru: Another play? As long as I kill InuYasha.  
  
InuYasha: Feh.  
  
Miroku: -is trying not to cry- I am loved.I am loved.  
  
Kiara: -holds up a sign that says the following- SHUT UP!  
  
Director: -blinks- Now, before I have people who are fans, or people who want to kill me.running on stage, I'm telling you, I don't hate the characters, those roles fit their personality best. Tybalt~ Sinister, vile, mean spirited, hates people that aren't like him, a warrior. Sesshoumaru~ Same as above!  
  
Sesshoumaru: Humph  
  
Miroku: Can I talk now?  
  
Director: Fine  
  
Miroku: Thanks.  
  
Director: Also, the whole Shut up sequence was just there for humor. Miroku had it coming to him. Thank you, this has been a production of Shakespeare's: The Tragedy of Romeo and Juliet. 


End file.
